Oh my GOD! I am so scaaaaaaaaaared !!!!!!!!!!

All the scares given below, which were spread through e-mails, are not related to Health, but a majority of them are. Hence, they can have a place in this Blog.


    As we progress into 2013, I want to thank you all for your educational e-mails over the past year.

    I am so scaaaaaaaaaared now and have little chance of recovery.

    I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

    I can't sit down on a hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

    I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.

    Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

    I can't touch any woman's handbag for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public toilet.

    I must send my special thanks for the email about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

    ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

    I can't have a drink in a bar because I fear I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

    I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

    I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

    Thanks to you I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

    Because of your concern , I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

    I no longer buy fuel without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

    I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

    And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

    I no longer go to the cinema because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

    I no longer go to shopping centers because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me..

    And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan ..

    Thanks to you I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

    And thanks to your great advice I can't ever pick up a dime coin dropped in the car park because it was probably placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.

    I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.


    Oh, and by the way...

    A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse

    Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

    P. S. I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that the mucky water sprays over 6 ft. out of the toilet when flushed..

    NOW, HEH HEH, YOU HAVE YOURSELF A VERY GOOD DAY...